You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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