Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
