Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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