Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
