so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
