I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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