i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
