so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize