I'm so fucking centered right now
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
