dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
