How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
