It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I look better un-naked...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
