she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
