Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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