I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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