Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize