We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
