He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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