We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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