JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
