you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
