Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He? As in you personified your dick?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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