I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
