omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
