I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize