Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
