Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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