You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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