so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
