If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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