do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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