Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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