hell yes lets make some ravioli
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
