there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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