google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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