She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
