Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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