She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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