I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
