I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
