Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
