Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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