That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
