i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
