I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize