it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
