How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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