Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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