eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
