I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
