Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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