I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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