I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
