id be glad to
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
