my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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