I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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