Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
