you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
